The BloodNosed Merc & The Crazy Moonbrain
by imgoingtocrash
Summary: After a mostly successful job, River makes a song to celebrate, and Jayne finds it a bit too catchy. A fun/cute little fic for the Holidays, stemming slightly from a certain red-nosed reindeer.. Not exactly Rayne, more friendship or general cuteness.


**Hello! This idea came from my mom repeating Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer over and over and me getting irked by it. All I could imagine was River creating her own little version to annoy Jayne, and from that came him doing the same. **

**In my thoughts, I like the idea of after Serenity, Jayne and River might get along as companions. I like them being badasses, but still having their funny tiffs. More written just to be cute then to be Rayne or anything. Enjoy! (And if it's not obvious, the songs are in tune to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.)**

**Disclaimer: The space monkeys have obviously gotten to you if you think I own Firefly, Serenity, or Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. **

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><p>Serenity was relatively quiet at the moment. The crew had just escaped another brush with death.<p>

Mal and Zoe had gone planet-side to do some business with a client, and left Jayne to watch the ship.

River had spoken of some trouble in her own way, so Mal decided leaving she and Jayne to handle it while he got his pay was best.

All had seemed too peaceful, so Jayne instructed River to warn him about any hun dans that would try to take the ship over. Someone always seemed to think they could hop on any vessel with a pistol or two and rob it blind.

And once the three or four ugly bastards hopped in (Not at all in a sneaky fashion.) the gunfight started.

It went fairly well on Jayne and River's end, but Jayne did come out with a bloody nose for the Doc to easily tend to.

As the crew were gathering for supper, however, the quiet was replaced with a certain crazy girl's singing, with her figure dancing into the room.

_"Jayne-man, the blood-nosed merc,_

_Had a very shiny gun,_

_and if you ever see her,_

_you could even say she glows,_

_All of the other crewman,_

_Never could recall her name,_

_Vera, the Callahan,_

_shoots those bullets into brains,_

_Then one cold night in the verse,_

_Captain had to say,_

_Jayne-man, with your guns all bright,_

_protect this gorram boat tonight,_

_Then how the crewgirls loved him,_

_as their grins spread out with glee_

_Jayne-man, the blood-nosed merc,_

_saved the ship from misery!"_

River ended the song with a questioning look at the crew's faces.

Everyone but Jayne was either laughing loudly or about to burst, while Jayne gave her a look filled with anger, confusion, and what seemed like an almost amused smirk coming from the mercenary.

"Where d'ya think she picked that up at?" Kaylee asked.

"Maybe she recalls it from childhood?" Simon replied. "The tune seems familiar to me, but definitely not the words themselves."

"She wanted to dance, but no one else could hear the music, so she made it herself about relevant thoughts." River said, taking her seat at the table. "Jayne-man helped protect Serenity from those with impure thoughts. She flew the ship away. They did well."

"They did indeed little one. Thanks to that we all got our pay for that job safely back to this boat." Mal said, earning agreeing small nods and smiles from the table.

"Not bad for a crazy person," Jayne commented. "still damn annoying song there.."

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><p>Later on the bridge, River was preparing things so Mal could take his shift while she slept. As she pressed the button to alert Mal he was needed, Jayne stood in the doorway.<p>

"She sees he wants to tell her something and is trying not to think about it so she doesn't hear him." River sighed and turned to him.

Jayne was wearing a smirk that showed he obviously thought whatever he was about to say was clever.

"Got ya some new music ta dance to that might go with your other piece there."

River crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows as a sign to continue.

He sang not completely off key and to the same tune as she did hours before.

_"River, the crazy moonbrain,_

_gots a thing fer annoying Jayne,_

_and if you ever met her,_

_she would drive you insane,_

_All of the other girlfolk,_

_didn't find a damn thing wrong,_

_but they never let poor River,_

_go without meds for long,_

_Then some odd night in the verse,_

_Captain urged to say,_

_Albatross with your mind so bright,_

_fly our crappy ship tonight,_

_Then as the ship passed atmo,_

_far into the black as she could be,_

_River, the crazy moonbrain,_

_piloted Serenity!"_

River laughed and shook her head at Jayne. She and Jayne had a companionship these days. They would annoy the go se out of each other for whatever entertainment it would provide, and in a firefight, they worked well together.

"Did good today. Captain is pleased. Pay is good."

"Damn straight, moonbrain."

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed that little Christmas ficlet. Even if some parts of the songs seem a little off beat, I still enjoyed writing them. I also enjoyed writing how it all kind of came together. Please leave a review how I did or favorite! I'd love to hear your opinions. Happy Holidays!<strong>

_hun dan - assholes_

_go se - crap_


End file.
